Monday, June 27, 2011

Re-connecting and offense.

WARNING: Here's a post that is neither crafty nor kid-related. If you're in the mood for light-hearted and hilarious, go over here

Here goes: Ready?

Offense is not worth it. EVER.

And, it's a sin.

Did I lose you?   It's ok, this is probably more for my sake than yours. :)

Getting offended at people is different than having your feelings hurt by them. Yes, your feelings will get hurt, especially if you decide to invest in a person on a heart level in any way. You will get hurt by those you let get close to you. But being offended...that's not being hurt. That means that you are holding on to those feelings and refusing to let them go; letting them build up until you refuse to forgive.

I just re-connected with a friend who I haven't talked to in almost 8 years.  I was offended at them for several different reasons, and rather than talk with them or decide to let it go, I've held on to it. No, I didn't growl every time I thought about them, nor did I wish anything ill up on them. In fact, I missed them terribly. But every time I remembered how they hurt me, I let it hurt me again, and again. Until finally, it became bitterness and resentment.

It feels yucky, and I hated it. And it only took me 8 years to realize how to fix it. Eight years of maturing, growing, thinking, praying and really, becoming an adult, had taught me that I was actually the one to blame. Taking things out of context. Thinking only of myself and how they were making ME feel, rather than how I may have been making them feel.  Deciding they just didn't care anymore, without even asking. When I realized that I still had way too many issues with them to just keep putting this off, I knew the time was coming to make the call.

So, I called them today. I had my phone in my hand, walking into my kitchen, and something reminded me of them.  I thought about calling so many times before. Nearly every day.  There is a gazillion things that remind me of them, and I suppose that made the pain even worse. (Hello, dramatic much? Sheesh.) Anyway, I dialed and pressed 'send'. I was shaking and nervous and happy and scared. So afraid to be rejected again. Or to feel rejected, anyways.  Now I believe that I never really was.

Anywho, we talked for almost an hour, and I could tell that my friend truly was so happy to be reconnecting with me.  At the end of the call, my friend said, "Jenn, this was such a treat to talk with you." I said, "Really?" And they said "Absolutely, we think about you all the time." And here, I thought they hated me. What the heck?

Offense is stupid and so not worth it.  There is such freedom in clearing the air.  Don't wait eight ridiculous years before you suck it up and make the call.

The end. Thanks. :)

And because I've told you that I refuse to post an entry without a picture, here's one I found on Pinterest that I couldn't resist adding to my 'awesome' folder.
Best ever.

1 comment:

susanna internicola said...

jenn, i'm super proud of you! great example and truth that you are sharing!! rock on sister!
and i followed the hilarious trail....oh man...i laughed out loud at that V-neck silliness. thankyou!

ryan had a dream recently and the phrase from it was:

you can have as much offense as you want, all you have to do is take it!

woah. so true!