got me some bangs.

Lora told me to post a picture. :-)












and now for some shop-y stuff!

I got these quilt squares from Lora's shop (www.eagerhands.etsy.com). They came all cut and ready to sew!













My latest favorite bag; a simple little tote made from up-cycled vintage ticking and some wild green and white polka dot fabric!














i love being crafty...:-)


jenn

lots to consider right now...

Man! I feel like I've got 2 full time jobs! Mommy, and independent researcher. There is SO much to learn about autism, recovery, treatments, therapies, supplements, etc. It's insane! Listen, if you guys want to know what we're going through, to relate or simply just understand, go to www.generationrescue.org or www.tacanow.org, two of my favorite websites. TACA has TONS of resources that i use alot.
anyway, right now we're trying to figure out how to move forward with therapy. His preschool offers speech therapy and occupational therapy, which is going to be so good for him. However, we've been feeling like there needs to be more one-on-one, intensive stuff. So the past few days, i've been looking into ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis). This is the 'gold standard' for autism therapies. In one study that the founder of this therapy, Dr. Lovaas, conducted, 47% of the children who were in intensive ABA therapy shortly thereafter became mainstreamed in school without an aide and lost their diagnosis. Thats a big number, folks!
So, we're really trying to figure out how to make all this happen. The Lord has to provide the money to pay the therapists, as it can cost up to $30,000/year to do this. It's not covered by the government, although I am going to try to apply for a waiver. The waiting list for that is over a year though, so I wont count on it. It is actually infuriating to know that, although this is an EPIDEMIC, the government and most insurance companies simply will not pay for most treatment options. 1 in every 150 children have autism. 10 years ago, the number was 1 in every 10,000. That is simply not a genetic disorder, that is an environmental illness and for heavens sake, what is the world thinking by not trying to find the root cause!!

Ok, off the soap-box Jenn.

So pray for us, that we can get all of this worked out. From researching, I already know that Rowan is going to respond amazingly to this therapy. I am so excited to start it but have no idea how it's going to happen. And i dont want to waste any time! ya know?

On a non-Rowan-related note, I have been sewing like crazy! For some reason, my motivation level is WAY up there right now. So if you have a friend's birthday coming up, or a baby shower, let me know! I'd love to make you a custom bag, purse, blanket, whatever. Seriously. Its fun for me!

Bless you guys, and thanks for trekkin' this road with us.

Jenn

Looky what I made!

Here's some new things I just made. I LOVE sewing things for people (especially and, actually, only when i'm motivated). I'm not sure why, but right now I have the motivation to get through my back orders of bags and nursing covers. Check out this super cute nursing cover!


The picture doesn't do the green justice. It is the juiciest lime green I've ever seen on a fabric! Just love it.















Next project on my list: a pillowcase dress. I have seen them made in lots of etsy shops and I'm really excited to try!

The other day, my good friend Lora was visiting, with her kids, for a playdate. She was trying to change her very squirmy 2 yr old daughters diaper and she said "Be still, I have to change you!" All of a sudden, she realized that that's what the Lord would say to us. Be still, He wants to change you! Isn't it great how mommy's can encounter the Lord and recieve revelation by changing poops?

:-) I love God. He's funny and He speaks, and sometimes He speaks funny. Poopy diapers can be prophetic!

ch ch changes!!

I don't really know where to start his post, so I will just get to the point.

The Greutmans are moving back to NY! Thats right! Sometime within the next few months, we will be relocating to Oswego, NY. There are several things that led to this choice, but the thing that really made the decision for us was everything with Rowan. Let me expand:

When we learned that Rowan was autistic, and after we got over the initial shock, grief, and all other feelings that come with that, I quickly became faced with several new daunting realiztions. Among them was the realization that I was soon going to be thrown into the world of paperwork, meetings, appointments, testing, etc. and that I was very ill-prepared for such a task. I think that if Rowan were our only child, this task wouldn't be so daunting, but since I have 2 other little ones to care for, I really didn't know how all of this was going to happen. I began longing for the people that I knew would be willing to help at any cost: the grandparents. But, we still have Joel's brothers on the same street, and our dearest friends right next door, so I didn't doubt at all that we would have help and support around us.

2 months after Ro's diagnosis: Ben AND Mark both announce that their families are soon moving away! Ben to Kansas City and Mark to Oswego, NY. Now, if I wasn't already longing for the grandparents, this just put me over the top. I have always felt strongly about living near family, having the grandparents around to watch their grandkids grow. When Mark and Lauren made their plans to move, I knew it was time to seriously consider this, because let's get real here. I know alot of parents with autistic children can do this without the help of family, but if we DO have the opportunity to be near them, then by golly, I'm taking it!

It's not just that i know they'll help us, though. They will love my kids like nobody else can. We really feel like that is important in our lives right now. And on top of all of that, I long for the days of spending holidays with family, being a short car trip away from my own family, having gatherings at my home with them, taking weekend trips to my parents' house, waking up on Christmas morning with SNOW! ;) so many other things I'm looking forward to. I haven't lived near my family in almost 6 years. Maybe that's ok for some people, and necessary for some. I'm very excited about that not being the case anymore. I miss my sisters and brother alot!

Oswego has a special needs preschool right in town, and is near Syrcause, which is good for Joel's work. Although he'll be keeping the jobs he has now and working from home, it is good to be near a city where there are more opportunities. On top of that, Joels' mom is the new principal at the fantastic Christian school there, so when my kids get of age, they'll be attending there. It is hard to imagine my kids going to school, but the day will come!

To all of our Charlotte friends: Thinking about moving truly is bittersweet. We have had such an amazing 3 1/2 years here. The people we've grown close to, the lifetime friends we've made, our time with ZHOP, our church the Well; there's no way I'd change any of that for anything! This has been an amazing ride in South Carolina. We arrived here without any children (and are leaving with 3!), lived in a huge home, housed 20+ missionaries, worked at a House of Prayer full time, lived 8 feet away from our best friends, only a few meters away from family, made friendships that we know will never end, and most importantly, we experienced the Lord in so many new ways. I could sit here for a week trying to tell you everything else the Lord did for us here and it still wouldn't be enough time.

As for timing, we don't know when we'll be moving, although we are feeling like it will be sometime before January. We should know more about that in the next few weeks, but for now, we're just waiting on the Lord. Many things have to take place before that can happen, but I will keep you posted. Our main prayer request is that the Lord would make a way for our house to sell.

I'd list all of the other things that happened to get us to our decision, but then I'd feel like I'm explaining myself, and I dont need to do that. All you need to know is that we prayed. :-)

Bless you! Thanks for listening (reading). It's good to get that out in the open!

Jenn

2 things I love today! (its not friday but I can still love stuff!)

my happy and fun kitchen















my beautiful baby girl

my boy

As shown from my last post, I've been having a particularly rough time these past few weeks with my eldest son. Today, I realized that no matter what, I need to love Rowan how he is right now, in this very moment. Regardless of when the Lord lifts the fog, he is my son now, just the way he is. I can continue to contend for his recovery, and I will never give up until we see it. But it dawned on me that if I dont enjoy him as he is right now, I will have missed a million opportunities to enjoy him. So I sat down and wrote him a letter, since he can't really understand my words right now very well. Here is a piece of it:

"For Rowan:
I love the way you love to be wrestled.
I love how you laugh when I tickle your face with my hair.
I love how you crack up when I come to check on you before you fall alseep at night.
I love when you sit on my lap, look straight into my eyes and then squeeze me as tight as you can.
I love how playful you are.
I love that you love your Daddy.
I love your smile.
I love when you hug your little brother and sister simply because you want to.
I love that you love to jump.
I love that you never lie.

I will never stop loving you."


















My son is so beautiful and wonderful. Pray for Joel and I, that we don't forget to be patient and longsuffering, loving our kids unconditionally at all times!

phew. hard day!

Rowan starts preschool in a few weeks, and I am VERY excited about this for a few reasons! One, it is going to be so good for him to be around other kids his age, get speech therapy (since most of his frustration comes from lack of communication), and learn new things! Two, Asher and Bella will get more of my personal attention and I'm excited about that. Asher and Rowan play very differently, so it will be really good for Asher to get to do the things he always wants to do without Rowan giving him a hard time. And lastly, I think it will help my heart to have him out of the house for a few hours a day. Now don't go thinking that I dont want my son around, because I love him more than my own life! But if you're a mom, and more specifically a mom of an ASD kid, you understand that sometimes the hard things you deal with become overwhelming enough to send you off the deep end.

So, that is kind of where I was today. Right on the edge of the deep end. I could see the end of my rope very clearly but was determined not to get there. And I swore twice. (I'm human, give me a break!) Not AT my kids, mind you. If I ever do that, then I've clearly lost control and you are welcome to come over and send me to my room.

Once naptime came around, and I had a few hours to breathe and compose myself, I felt much better. The sanity break makes it much easier to deal with hard things again. I have more patience and kindness in my heart when I have had time to process and move on. I love my kids so much! Having Rowan, and Asher (who is 2.5 so you can imagine that he is a handful right now!), and Bella means that I don't have the option to sit around and be depressed or sad all the time. Yes, there is a time for that, but you deal with it and you move on. Dwelling on that stuff for too long wastes too much time and energy, and the Lord never intended our hearts to dwell on the negative things. You have to acknowledge it, mourn, grieve, be angry, but only for a short season and then you get up and at 'em.

I have to tell this to myself every day. Now it's time to steward what the Lord has put on my table! I still and will always pray for Rowans complete healing, and am doing all that I know how to do while that is in progress. Yesturday I told the Lord, "Ok, I am sending him to preschool, getting him speech therapy, he's eating special foods and taking vitamins, having tests done and so on, but I'm asking You to make up for the rest! If I could do it all, then I'd be You, and clearly I'm not!" He supplements what I am unable to provide here on earth. Obviously, he provides everything I listed anyways, but has entrusted me to carry it out. The great part is that in the end, He's the one who will do the miracle. Amen? Halleluyer.

Love,
Jenn