I can't believe it has been a year...

Haven Joel is one year old today! I know all moms say this, but the time really has flown by.
I can remember very clearly the day he was born; the craziest and scariest, most wonderful day of my life.  Wonderful, because the Lord allowed me and my baby boy to live. Scary and crazy because we both almost died. 

I had been struggling with a stubborn headache for a few days, and had been annoyed at the swelling in my aching feet for a few weeks. Docs assured me that the swelling was normal, seeing as how I was in my third trimester and retaining some water.  So, Sunday morning, when I couldn't fall back asleep because of the pain in my head, I took several tylenols, and nothing touched the pain.  I had to go lay down, and Joel called his mom to come help him with the kids.  Thank God he'd gotten overwhelmed, because when Deb came, she told me she was taking me to the ER.  By this time, my vision was in and out and the pain was causing me to not think clearly.

We arrived at the ER, and I was barely coherent. Couldn't even see to sign the insurance forms. The nurses were totally freaked out.  Apparently they still talk about that day. By the time we got back to one of the rooms, I couldn't say who was president, what year it was, or how tall I was.  As soon as the doc saw me, he knew I had to deliver Haven, and ASAP. They rushed me to Syracuse and did the c-section in record time.  I remember none of it.  Was completely blind and unconscious.  I can't even imagine what Joel and our friends and family were thinking. I know that Joel was in a bit of a shock. He was in 'get it done and make it through mode' and prayed in tongues pretty much the entire one-hour ride to the hospital in Syracuse.

The first thing I remember after arriving at the hospital is lying on the bed, post surgery, with my 3.5 pound baby up in the NICU, is hearing my father in law and my good friend Lynda (who is a nurse), talking about what had happened.  Meanwhile, I was on quite a bit of drugs and didn't feel an ounce of pain. Or anything at all.  I just slept for the next 3 days.

When I finally gained consciousness, I learned that I had HELPSS syndrome, which is a form of severe preclempsia. The swelling in my brain had caused the blindness, and I later learned that if I had waited ten more minutes to get to the ER, they didn't think Haven or I would have made it.  Can you even wrap your mind around that?
I can't. God is so good.

After 3 days of drifting in and out of consciousness (thanks to the morphine and the magnesium drip), my vision finally returned and I got to go see Haven up in the NICU. It was amazing. That's the picture you see at the top. My first time meeting my baby. My little miracle boy. He was the size of a little melon.  A precious, amazing, new and alive melon.

I'm thankful for the extreme peace and joy I felt the entire time I was recovering. I knew we were going to be alright. I know that isn't always the case in situations like these, but I just knew.  Even with all of the choas, danger, trauma, etc, the Lord gave me peace. I'm so very thankful that He's on the throne. And I'm so glad that Haven will grow up knowing that God saved him and has a great destiny for him.

Happy birthday, Haven boy. You're gonna do great things.